SED Artist

There are many different types of ‘loved ones’ as one defines takes part in our lives. Typically, based off my own understanding of this, I would say they generally remain within the departments of friends, family, partners and pets. The weight of one is not dependent on the vother, simply each one has its own value.

The love you have for these people, or pets, and the love they have for you, tends to be one of our largest comforts as we grow older. The roles of these people varies, from different places to different times to different personalities.

I have realised only recently that one of the great tragedies of growing up, is spending less time with those you love. At school, and at university, we usually spend our days in the lovely company of those we so choose; the likelihood of our weekends being spent in similar ways are pretty high.

From then onwards though, things change. Another transition period comes into play and with transition comes change. Change you’ll happily accept, and change which might be harder to digest.

Sometimes the decisions that are best for you are far from those you love, even if only temporary, and that can be a really difficult adjustement to make, especially when it comes to losing out on the lives of those you love.

Keeping relationships going from a distance is difficult; of course, having our phone makes it a whole lot easier, but it also puts a lot more pressure on it, a lot more of an expectation regarding a certain upkeep of said relationship. This isn’t one of those pressures that comes from your friends, but perhaps more from you or societies expectation of how we should now look after our friendships considering the opportunity to do so with our newfound technology.

Ideally, we would all live in little communities with our chosen friends and just live happily ever after amongst our own, but that doesn’t seem to be the way upon which society has been built, especially considering the milestones you are expected to conquer. The partner, the job, the house, the children, the success, retirement, all on which society seems to depend rather strongly. I’m not saying that it’s not possible to live as society has directed us to, whilst also having great friendships and overall a wonderful life, simply that friendships do seem to drift a little as one gets older and conquers me those milestones.

When you start to disperse your life, so too disperse your friends, which you will make and leave in multiple places that cannot coexist, and from there it is both the best and the worst that ensues. The more you disperse, the more people you meet, the more you learn and you will most likely benefit a great deal from all of the change and transition you put yourself through for one reason or another, but the friendships and experiences will gather and topple you over should you not have the emotional strength to withstand the love of it. It’s a delightful thing of course, but if you love greatly and deeply then it can be hard to accept certain friendships as fleeting, or as long distance. The love for the person is there, the access to them is not.

There is then also much to be said for people who stay mainly in one place, or who have a very solid and constant base, where they are to be greeted by friends, family and pets as if they had never left. A friendship group built from days months and years spent together is strong, but which ones are stronger ? The ones built over time who are always physically there? Or the ones which strike you like love at first sight but who are sometimes far from you?

Maybe then, the best way to live is to have such a solid base which offers all you love and need regarding those who surround you, and gives you the flexibility of leaving every now and again, knowing you will always be coming back to love, joy and comfort.

In this case, the friendships you have will most likely determine where you settle, or vice versa.

I never want to grow apart from my friends, they are such a large part of my life and my enjoyment of it, but it does seem to be something that one has to consistently work at to make possible, as everyone starts to float away in the directions of their dreams. Loving someone and finding it difficult to keep in touch with them is heartbreaking, especially when the distance is out of your control. The line between letting go of the past and bringing the good things into the future is a difficult one to balance on. And, accepting that things are going to be changing at a distance from you whether you like it or not, whether you are there or not, is digestible but needs rather a lot of chewing. Relationships change, pets die, people move, you change, decisions are made, but hopefully, those you really care about and who care about you, will have remained wholly similar, and will not have drifted too far.

Really I guess, what im trying to say, through rather unfastened words, is the appreciation for your loved ones once you spend your time apart from them. Of course this goes for most things in life, so much that I love talking about, your home, your town, your local market, your mountains, but here I want to focus on friendships, relationships and family. No matter where you go or for how long, there is nothing more comforting and heartwarming as the idea of coming home to friends. If your friends are frustratingly dispersed, then it is surely that ache for them which keeps you so excited at the idea of enjoying their time and company, and overly appreciating the small moments together. This is not to say you can’t appreciate your friends and love them all the same should you stay in the same place forever, if anything then that creates such a strong union which is rare and so deep !

Something about being apart though, makes you really value those you love and who make you feel like the best version of yourself. Distance magnifies your appreciation of them. It is this, the step back from our lives, that enables us to have a good look at the big picture, and you realise just how much you love the little things about those you miss.

The little things are actually really the biggest things of all.